-Here comes The Authority coming out to the ring, Triple H cuts a Royal Rumble promo, then he tries to introduce Batista, but here comes *coughing* Randy Orton and he cuts them off and storms to the ring. Orton asks who they think they are, Stephanie says they are on the road to Wrestlemania and they just announced the WWE Network, which is huge (no really it is huge!!!). She says people are watching them more than ever, but they saw Orton attack John Cena's father after he lost his match to Kofi Kingston. Is it me or is it possible that Stephanie and HHH could screw Randy Orton this Sunday at the Royal Rumble? I aee it happening. Stephanie says he attacked a helpless man, but Orton calls this all ridiculous and says he should be treated with respect as the face of WWE. Orton asks how he's supposed to react when they just bring back Batista and Brock Lesnar, so HHH tells him to relax and listen to what he expects of him. HHH says he expects Orton to rise up and be a proud champion, but Orton hides and beats up old men....it is also true, but he should look at who's waiting for him. OOOOOHHHH!!!! He says both Batista and Brock are gunning for him. He should rise up and win, he is going to face Kofi again tonight....if Kofi beats him again...HE HAS TO BE IN THE RUNNING FOR THE TITLE. HHH says they put a camera backstage so everyone knows when Cena arrives and he tells Orton he will make things right, and do it alone. Batista's music cuts him off *starts screaming and does the happy dance* and The Animal makes his way out to the ring, with Orton looking none too pleased, but HHH and Stephanie clap for him. Batista hugs them and ignores a handshake by Orton, then they leave as Batista says he wants to explain something to Orton right now. Batista says he's back for the title, and it doesn't matter who is holding it, because he is winning the Royal Rumble and headlining Wrestlemania, and he needs to deal with that. BATISTA IS BACK AND I AM A HAPPY FUCKING PERSON!!!! He should have gave Randy the Batista Bomb... lawd!
1st Match: Big E Langston/The Brotherhood vs The Shield
Winner: The Shield
- Goldust hits Rollins a few times and hits an atomic drop for two, then Cody hits an elbow off the top before he connects with a long delay vertical suplex for two. Cody tags Goldust and assists him with a double elbow smash, then Rollins elbows Cody in the corner and sweeps his legs. Rollins whips him but Cody gets him with a leapfrog sunset flip, then he goes for a Disaster Kick but Rollins ducks outside to catch his breath. Cody dives on him on the floor as we go to a break, then we get back to see Cody hit Reigns with a Disaster Kick before making a tag. Langston hits a belly-to-belly and clotheslines Reigns outside, then he clotheslines Ambrose and goes for a Big Ending. Rollins tries to save him but Goldust cuts him off, then Langston catches Ambrose off the turnbuckles and slams him down on the mat. He splashes Ambrose for two but Reigns breaks it up, then Reigns hits Goldust with a spear before the ring clears and Rollins kicks Langston in the head for the win.
-Daniel Bryan comes out and says people have been asking him all week if he had a plan, and he thinks they know the answer to that already. He says he had to take down Bray Wyatt physically and mentally, and he kept everyone in the dark because it's what was necessary to take Bray down. Bryan says he doesn't follow anyone and he became the buzzard, so he exposed Bray for what he is and he'll do the same on Sunday. Bryan says he was just told that Harper and Rowan will be entered into the Royal Rumble match, so he will get Bray in a singles match and starts a YES chant. Aw man, Bray cuts him off and says Bryan's a traitor, and he exposed himself as a coward who will go back to the fans. Can we please just get rid of him, Luke and Rowan..they are beginning to grow to me and WE CANT HAVE THAT!!!! Bray laughs and says Bryan should go home and hug his mother and tell her that he is sorry, because everything that happens now is his fault. Wait a minute....
2nd Match: Fandango vs Xavier Woods
Winner: Fandango
-Woods hit Fandango with the hurricanrana into the corner, then he headbutts him and hits a discus punch before he connects with a dropkick out of the corner. Fandango avoids a dive and comes back with a suplex, then he goes up top and hits a diving legdrop for the win. Yikes. Pretty short match, but still good.
-These mofos Brad Maddox and Kane are backstage arguing over who brought Batista back (IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO BROUGHT BATISTA BACK. FACT OF THE MATTER IS HE IS BACK! ) then Stephanie McMahon walks in and asks Maddox to excuse them. She asks Kane what he was thinking when he attacked CM Punk on Smackdown...yeah Kane, i would like to know my damn self. and she says he's an authority figure and can't physically attack anyone. Kane tries to reason with her, eventually says she's right, then Stephanie says he needs to be the bigger person here (irony, because Kane is a tad bigger than CM Punk) and apologize to Punk. Kane says Punk owes him an apology, not him, but Stephanie glares at him and Kane goes off to find him. Smh...Stephanie and those eyes ;)
-Aaaaaaaaaand Kane enters the arena and calls Punk out to the ring, and he apologizes to him, but Punk makes him repeat it before hitting him in the face with a microphone. Punk knocks him out of the ring and Maddox runs out and asks him to stop, then he says Punk will get the fight he wants, with one of the New Age Outlaws. Well damn...
3rd Match: CM Punk vs Billy Gunn
Winner: CM Punk
- Punk hits Billy in the corner and rams him with his shoulder, then they head outside and Punk yells at Road Dogg but Billy hits Punk from behind. We get back from a break to see Punk fight out of a headlock, then he knocks Billy back outside, then he runs to the other side of the ring and attacks Road Dogg. Punk screams that he deserves it, then he rolls back in and hits a neckbreaker for two before mocking Billy with a crotch chop and a corner clothesline. Punk hits Road Dogg on the apron and runs into a powerslam by Billy, then Billy goes for a corner splash but Punk avoids it. Billy hits his head on the ringpost and Punk sets up a top rope elbow, but Road Dogg pulls him outside so Punk takes Road Dogg out with a suicide dive. Billy hits Punk from behind and sets up a Fameasser, but Punk counters with the Go To Sleep for the win. Brad Maddox and Kane come back out and congratulate Punk on his victory, and Kane says he really is the best in the world, and he can prove it when he is the first entrant in the Royal Rumble.
4th Match: Rey Mysterio vs Alberto Del Rio
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
-Pretty good decent match. Alberto sets up for an electric chair drop but Rey hurricanranas him into the ropes, and he hits a 619 and a top rope splash but Alberto is able to grab the bottom rope to break the pin. Rey heads up to the middle rope but Alberto catches him and flapjacks him on the mat, and immediately follows with a Cross Armbreaker that gets Rey to tap out. Alberto's celebration is short lived, Batista comes out to confront Del Rio. BATISTA GAVE ALBERTO THAT BATISTA BOMB!!!
-Big Show and Lesnar brawl, but Big Show throws Brock again and then got tossed out the ring like a damn ragdoll. Yikes, Lesnar is frustrated. Welp. Big Show comes out and mocks Paul Heyman, then he says Brock Lesnar is a very tough competitor so he doesn't want to waste anymore time. He calls for Brock to meet him in the ring, and he comes out with Heyman and walks right to the ropes before turning and leaving. Show calls for him to come back out and get in his face, then Brock makes his way back out and tries to take Show down but Show throws him in the corner. Show hits him a few times before Brock gets back up, then he runs at him again but Show throws him over the ropes towards the commentary table. Brock flips out and takes apart the commentary table, then he slams some chairs down before he tries to run at Show again. Show cuts him off so Brock throws a television monitor at him, then Heyman eventually calms him down and tells him to leave. Its is safe to say, that Royal Rumble will be EXCELLENT!!!!
5th Match: AJ Lee/Tamina vs The Funkadactyls
Winner: The Funkadactyls
-Tamina bodyslams Cameron and throws her in the corner, then AJ hits a neckbreaker for two before she applies a headlock. Cameron breaks free and makes the tag, then Naomi hits a clothesline and a dropkick before Tamina hits her with a big boot and tags back out. AJ skips around and tries to pick Naomi up, but Naomi pulls her by the hair and rolls her up in a small package for the win. Why couldn't AJ just pin Naomi when Tamina gave her the Super Kick? Awww poor AJ :( you didn't have to waste the good cake on Tamina backstage when no one showed up to your party. I would've came!
6th Match: The Usos vs Luke Harper/Erick Rowan
Winner: The Usos
- Daniel Bryan runs out and hits Bray from behind. He hits him a few times and kicks Rowan in the face, then Harper turns around to see what's going on and Jey rolls him up for the surprise win.
7th Match: Randy Orton vs Kofi Kingston
Winner: No Contest
- ROYAL RUMBLE IS GONNA BE SIIIIIIIICK THIS SUNDAY!!!! Randy made this personal, i still think HHH and Stephanie gonna screw him over, you just watch!