A color of royalty.
Like the deepest indigo at a rock concert.
Like everything that represents love.
Violet, violet red, violet blue, violet violet.
Anything that means anything to me.
The depth of amethyst.
Like the depth of the oceans at night.
Or the sweet kisses at midnight from the one
Who I wish would just swap places with me in this everlasting Hell.
The depth of her long, dark hair.
Or the depth of my heart during the day.
The sky at sunset.
The fish at dawn.
My entire world around me at dusk.
My only true friend until the end.
As close to blue or black as possible without crossing the line,
Like a newly formed bruise that tells the story,
I've tried so hard to keep hidden from the world.
The tears I cry into my pillow when I'm supposed to be sleeping.
My entire life.
Dark. Mysterious. Lonely.
Purple.
_____________________________________________
Thoughts aimlessly swarm inside my head.
Memories
Your hand in mine, then the hopeless and heartbroken screams muffled by my pillow.
Your piggyback rides soon flip to the memory of me cursing the universe.
Your hugs were so warm and vibrant.
Now I am so numb.
Why was I so selfish?! All I wanted was you and I never came to the realization that maybe I wasn't all that you wanted.
It was too late.
Too late to start over as anything more than friends.
Too late to be anything more than what I am to you now.
A memory.
And we all know what happens to memories. Like them, I will fade.
I scold myself for wanting you.
I was just too selfish.
Like the deepest indigo at a rock concert.
Like everything that represents love.
Violet, violet red, violet blue, violet violet.
Anything that means anything to me.
The depth of amethyst.
Like the depth of the oceans at night.
Or the sweet kisses at midnight from the one
Who I wish would just swap places with me in this everlasting Hell.
The depth of her long, dark hair.
Or the depth of my heart during the day.
The sky at sunset.
The fish at dawn.
My entire world around me at dusk.
My only true friend until the end.
As close to blue or black as possible without crossing the line,
Like a newly formed bruise that tells the story,
I've tried so hard to keep hidden from the world.
The tears I cry into my pillow when I'm supposed to be sleeping.
My entire life.
Dark. Mysterious. Lonely.
Purple.
_____________________________________________
Thoughts aimlessly swarm inside my head.
Memories
Your hand in mine, then the hopeless and heartbroken screams muffled by my pillow.
Your piggyback rides soon flip to the memory of me cursing the universe.
Your hugs were so warm and vibrant.
Now I am so numb.
Why was I so selfish?! All I wanted was you and I never came to the realization that maybe I wasn't all that you wanted.
It was too late.
Too late to start over as anything more than friends.
Too late to be anything more than what I am to you now.
A memory.
And we all know what happens to memories. Like them, I will fade.
I scold myself for wanting you.
I was just too selfish.