A memory:
May 2014, I collide with you in the street. "hey you're that guy from instagram" I laugh.
A memory:
June 2014, first time against your skin, my hands trembling, your fingers are soft.
A memory:
2 days later we're at a cinema, don't kiss me goodbye, I'll only want you more.
A memory:
a week later, no it's okay. I lace your fingers around my throat "choke me, I love it"
A memory:
Pizza and Arctic Monkey and our naked flesh - 4 times that night, twice again in the morning.
A memory:
We are so fucking good together, the best ever..ever? Ever...a fucking supernova.
A memory:
Helping you move house, stumbling over cardboxes, your mouth on mine.
drowning in paper on your old apartment floor.
A memory:
You collapse against me, holding my face, "You beautiful fucking creature" you whisper.
A memory:
I become aware I'm becoming addicted to you.
A memory:
You tell me you're being sent away. I collapse. my lungs ache. I never fully recover.
I stay in your bed for weeks more anyway. we both know it's bad but we're not good with self-control.
A memory:
drunk, stupid. We're running down the street hand in hand, we fuck at the lake, we spend the following morning liquid-limbed in the bathtub.
A memory:
I watch your chest rise and fall as you sleep silently beside me, I'm wrapped against your tattooed skin.
A memory:
I miss you as soon as you leave, "come over, again" I come running.
A memory:
this is our 200th time fucking. 200 goddamn times, you know? I know. I counted.
A memory:
September, "I'll be seeing you around kiddo" you say, hand on my thigh. I swallow bile.
I try not to look at you because I'm not very strong and I know I'll break soon. So I close your door and I'm gone and its over and I swear I'll miss you forever.
October comes and goes..
I pray for a better November.
May 2014, I collide with you in the street. "hey you're that guy from instagram" I laugh.
A memory:
June 2014, first time against your skin, my hands trembling, your fingers are soft.
A memory:
2 days later we're at a cinema, don't kiss me goodbye, I'll only want you more.
A memory:
a week later, no it's okay. I lace your fingers around my throat "choke me, I love it"
A memory:
Pizza and Arctic Monkey and our naked flesh - 4 times that night, twice again in the morning.
A memory:
We are so fucking good together, the best ever..ever? Ever...a fucking supernova.
A memory:
Helping you move house, stumbling over cardboxes, your mouth on mine.
drowning in paper on your old apartment floor.
A memory:
You collapse against me, holding my face, "You beautiful fucking creature" you whisper.
A memory:
I become aware I'm becoming addicted to you.
A memory:
You tell me you're being sent away. I collapse. my lungs ache. I never fully recover.
I stay in your bed for weeks more anyway. we both know it's bad but we're not good with self-control.
A memory:
drunk, stupid. We're running down the street hand in hand, we fuck at the lake, we spend the following morning liquid-limbed in the bathtub.
A memory:
I watch your chest rise and fall as you sleep silently beside me, I'm wrapped against your tattooed skin.
A memory:
I miss you as soon as you leave, "come over, again" I come running.
A memory:
this is our 200th time fucking. 200 goddamn times, you know? I know. I counted.
A memory:
September, "I'll be seeing you around kiddo" you say, hand on my thigh. I swallow bile.
I try not to look at you because I'm not very strong and I know I'll break soon. So I close your door and I'm gone and its over and I swear I'll miss you forever.
October comes and goes..
I pray for a better November.